The Day I Quit Facebook

daytriedI woke the same as any other day
Except a voice was in my head
It said, “Seize the day, pull the trigger
Drop the blade and watch the rolling heads”
— The Day I Tried to Live (Soundgarden)

Dear $FB,

I’m sorry, but we should start seeing other people… I broke up with you before, yet this time I won’t go silently nor temporarily. Now it’s more like one of those street break-up scenes with TVs flying outta windows.

Your recent attempt to hide my email address, albeit a failed one, was the latest display that you never loved me. I knew that already, of course, because if you loved me, you wouldn’t have tried to squeeze the contacts from my gmail and smartphone

If you loved me, you certainly wouldn’t have messed up my looks (profile) twice — once by turning my written interests into pre-defined entities that you use to build a profile of me to be sold to advertisers; and a second time by forcing the timeline on me. I don’t need tattoos, thank you.

If you loved me, you wouldn’t censor my friends, by showing only a few of them on chat. You wouldn’t censor posts from or to Google+. You wouldn’t steal content of Wikipedia pages when your end goal is commercial. You wouldn’t use my photo and information on ads shown to other people. You wouldn’t even try to track me all over the Internet with a cyber-GPS!

If you loved me, you would learn to forget… the messages and photos that I delete, instead of keeping them forever. Better yet, you wouldn’t have read all my messages in the first place.

$FB darling, I’m in love with another. And from Sunday onwards, I shall sleep on your bed no more. My account will be shut down and I will be celebrating… Portugal’s Euro cup win. (There’s always hope)


 

2015-05-29 Update: You’d think by now they would have gotten their shit together. You’d be wrong…

Not enough reasons to quit? Here are all of them!

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